Archive for July, 2008

Finishing.

Monday, July 28th, 2008

Why, oh why is finishing so hard?

Say you have an essay. Say it’s about a topic near and dear to your heart and whatever intellectual pretentions you might have. Say this essay is in its second draft, more or less, and you think it’s going somewhere interesting. Assuming, of course, that this hypothetical essay actually communicates what you want it to, which assumes that whatever hypothetical audience sees it is actually making an effort to read between the lines. There aren’t many lines to read between, after all, and they don’t know the context that created it, but if our hypothetical author can’t have some faith in readers, there wasn’t any point in writing it to begin with.

What, then, makes it so hard to let go of this hypothetical essay, call it finished, and send it out into the wide and frightening world of publishing?

I can make some guesses – there’s the obvious, that the hypothetical author is terrified of rejection. It might be that our hypothetical author is concerned about having something so vicious out there attached to her name. It might just be that our hypothetical author is a perfectionist, which seems to be something every writer who cares about craft struggles with.

Oh, and let’s admit it, there’s a question in the hypothetical author’s mind – what right does she have to pass harsh and sweeping judgement on a cultural and technological icon? …That, I think I can answer to my own satisfaction, so ignore it for now.

And there’s the question of whether or not this is about the process or the end product. It might be a waste of time to stop somewhere in the middle, and it’s clear that the middle is that stage before the creator lets go.

Finishing is moving on, and letting go of something you’ve worked on for ages. Sometimes that’s just a relief, but unfortunately not often. Part of the problem is that finishing is usually the longest stage of a project. It contains all the fiddly details that you ignored when you were in the middle of whatever it was because they weren’t vital, and all the criticism. Admitting that you’ve done everything you can, and it’s not quite perfect, is difficult at best. Especially if you want to reach an audience. They’re going to judge you on what you have done, not what you think you could do.

Our hypothetical author is too close to the piece at hand to tell if it’s actually as good as it ought to be.

Even if it is worth other people’s time, where should it go? There are so many options, even for this short of an essay. If our hypothetical author cares about the piece, it ought to go somewhere perfect. Do you start out small, or do you aim high and brace for failure?

What’s it like, being in the slush pile?

They say that challenging yourself is useful, though. Which is, as far as learning things go, absolutely true. Yet another thing I’m learning over and over again from spinning, in fact. I have a distinct and possibly ridiculously high goal, which I am probably thousands of ounces of fiber from achieving, but in the effort I’m getting better at making something that is pretty good yarn.

Probably the answer is aim high, accept failure, and keep doing it until it comes out right. I think that’s what all the advice I’ve ever gotten sums up to.

Works in progress

Saturday, July 26th, 2008

A skein (212 yards) of sort of mostly purple yarn in merino/tussah silk for my friend Sara:

Painted jacket based on an image I used for a broadside:

(and I ought to work on dealing with light in my photography, because this is not the most accurate representation of color…)

The last thing is something I am becoming increasingly fond of. It’s the Adamas shawl (from Mimknits), and it is most definitely a large-breed puppy. But hey, I’m using handspun singles that are almost but not quite laceweight, and it’s pretty neat.

Darn.

Wednesday, July 16th, 2008

Well, at least I know how long I can sustain productive behavior – a week. I have done nothing since Saturday, and I only have two more days off. Why am I sitting here writing about it instead of doing something? For one thing, it is easier to eat pizza while typing than while spinning, and for another … I hit a block. I don’t know what kind of block, although I think it had something to do with the writing rather than the art.

That and trying to fix the website is frustrating at best, because it’s really not a skillset I have and so I’m procrastinating. At least I’m good at that. Unfortunately, the update is what really needs to get done now. I just don’t know where to start (or how to make it look the way I want it to).

That said, the crane curtain did get finished, which is something at any rate.

I scoff at your fancy tools.

Friday, July 11th, 2008

Well, actually, I’d be thrilled if I still had access to a press. Any press, really, I’m not feeling picky right now.

It turns out that I did have some ink left, so I got started with a bit of printing.

Well, that’s just ducky – it took some improvisation (plastic spoon and waxed paper, because nobody has randomly stopped by and said “by the way, here’s a press for you”), but there are now a whole bunch (all right, only thirty-something) of wish broadsides half-finished and all over the floor. I suppose I should finish them and find somewhere else to put them before anyone comes home.

Actually, now that I’ve looked at both versions next to each other, I think they’re finished. There’s something about the way the blocks of type are lined up that I think looks better with just one butterfly.

Huh. Look at that, offcuts from a student reading broadside, with lino prints on. I think they might possibly need a few more layers, but that was fun.

Oh boy, suddenly I’m thinking it’s a good idea to try printing on cloth. This might be a problem. Well, at least nobody can say I haven’t done anything this week, unless they’re some kind of … weird printing-hating type.

And for once, I’ve been consistently productive.

Wednesday, July 9th, 2008

Not necessarily focused, but that never works anyway. I’ve done some spinning, some former-thesis work, and some writing.

This is going to be an image-heavy post, but … well, what do you expect from me?

Well, I started spinning. This is a silk/merino blend.

 

Did I mention some yarn? I cooked some yarn. From the left, it’s merino/tencel, silk, bamboo, and silk/merino.

And, with some help, I ended up with more than seventy little felt beads.

Oh, right, and we made some significant progress on the crane curtain.

Along with some very tiny – 2″ square – books.

Oh, heck, I have some more pictures of the curtain.

Fun, games, and nothing constructive.

Saturday, July 5th, 2008

What’s been on my reading list: Hard Boiled Wonderland and The End of the World and The Ultimates. I know, it’s a combination not found in nature. Murakami was a fairly good idea, despite being given to me by committee. I thought it was a little odd, near the end, but then again it was a little odd from the beginning. The Ultimates, on the other hand, are superhero comics. They’re good for that. (I’ve got Fables and Civil War, too, but first I’m going to read Louisiana folktales, because I’ve got another writing project to get to. Not, this time, about freedom of information.)

On the fiber front, well, that fight with my wheel threw me off. I’ve still got some stuff on a drop spindle, but here’s the problem: I know what I want to use it for. I just have to get a loom and learn how to weave, hah hah.

Not to mention the fact that the moment of truth has arrived: will I finish wish? If I’m going to, it needs to be over the next two weeks.

Uncooperative brat, that Frankenwheel.

Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008

So I had this purple fiber, right, and was in the process of making it into a nice skein of yarn … 

Well, it went all right for the first bobbin. The second bobbin was a little bit … feisty. That should’ve been my first clue, but I went and wound it off on the ballwinder so I could ply it anyway.

The first problem was my wheel’s unwillingness to spin counter-clockwise. I don’t know what its problem was, but whatever. The drive band kept falling off. Foul language ensued.

Then it wasn’t taking up the yarn. It was spinning, but really there are other things it’s supposed to do. I kind of solved that problem, by treadling at about warp nine and a half. At least I’m starting to actually get the hang of the long draw necessary for even plying. 

Treadling at warp nine has its own set of problems. The treadle keeps flying out of the leg it’s attached to, which is at best disconcerting when you’re trying to concentrate on plying a yarn without little nubs of tangle. 

Having two bobbins means that one of the batches of yarn was just sort of rolling around being tangly, since one of them had to be on the wheel – I should find out how to put a brake on my lazy kate so it doesn’t backspin quite so much.

I persevered. I am not going to let the spinning wheel win. Thump thump squeak *foul language* thump squeak. Right. But by Jove, there is going to be plied yarn at the end of this.

And lo, there is. With a ruler for scale, even. One day, Frankenwheel will understand how stubborn I can be.

In which I try to make sense of finishing things, again.

Tuesday, July 1st, 2008

All right, that’s a little strange. Accidentally deleting all the comments makes it even harder to write posts. I feel a bit like I’m talking to myself. I suppose I am, really, whether or not anybody comments.

It might be a side-effect of having finished the first draft of a major project. I’ve got more work to do on it, but it’s the biggest thing I’ve finished in a while. Now I’m staring down the barrel of two weeks I’ve set aside for finishing wish. Remember wish? With the cranes? I think I can do it, if I don’t get distracted by too many interesting side-projects. Stick to doing the basics, what I suppose is the foundation – if I’m going to make it a long-term project (I don’t think I have a choice, at this point) – and get to all the other bits once I actually have something to work with. 

Argh. 

You know how frustrating that is. 

Then again, a little bit of focus, with nice reasonable (daily) goals, works. I know this because I’ve done it. More than once, actually, to be honest. It’s just a lot more difficult to come up with goals that work for projects that aren’t writing. Word count is so darn convenient.

It meant I could write something novel-sized, seriously. You’d think, after that, I’d be all about folding little bits of paper. That’s not nearly so much like pulling teeth. (Actually, I’m sure it is once it gets past a certain point.)

So I’ll spin some more, as an avoidance tactic. Should work, right?